Let me tell you about the day I stepped into a fantasy world:

Last night I left my dogs with my parents at their house in Forest Hill. I had a nice dinner with them but I wasn’t able to give them much information about where I was going for the next week or two beyond what was written in the invitation and what I had gleaned from the sparse information available on the internet. As far as I knew, I was invited to a trade show in Los Angeles, California, U.S.A. as a guest of the Mizzurian Company. I can only guess that I may have impressed one of our many clients at the shop and word got back to Hollywood. I promised to call from L.A. as soon as I got settled there and knew more about my situation.

Back at my loft in Tony’s All Trades Shop this morning I had a small breakfast (Two bowls of granola) and finished packing for my trip to Los Angeles.  Just shortly before the anointed hour I haul my large outside frame backpack out front of the shop and I lean up against the front hood of my truck with my pack at my feet. The area is a quiet mix of older residential homes and light industry. 

There’s a lady sweeping her front porch across the street. She looks me up and down, winks and gives me a thumbs up; I smile back. I’m looking pretty bangin’ if I say so myself.

I’m clean shaven with a neat moustache and my long wavy dirty blonde hair is in a loose braid down my back to my waist: Wearing my best travelling clothes - Black canvas utility kilt and matching sporran with rabbit fur trim. Black/red/green macrame paracord belt with carabiner buckle. My knee high bomber boots are freshly polished. Grey wool stockings folded over the tops of the boots with red/green flashes. Sgian-dubh tucked in my right stocking. On top I'm wearing a red RUSH Clockwork Angels Tour T-Shirt under my father's black bomber jacket. The Invitation in the envelope is in my inside left breast pocket. On the left breast of the jacket is the embroidered patch with the name “Matthews” emblazoned on it in script. On my belt is a Leatherman style multi tool and a cellphone. On my left wrist is a chunky traditional wind up watch on a paracord band that matches my belt.

Strapped to the side of my pack are two pairs of shoes: My polished black Ghillie Brogue Shoes and a pair of sneaker style safety shoes. In a linen wrapped bundle there’s a Dirk with fork and spoon that matches the Sgian-dubh in my boot. Inside the pack are clothes for a week; including a full 9-yard wool belted plaid Matthews Tartan, flashes and a white linen ruffled highlander shirt. Another linen wrapped bundle of assorted brooches and pins which also match the dirk and Sgian-dubh along with  the leather belts and straps for my traditional Scottish Regalia. I have also packed my art kit with some modelling putty, a bundle of basswood, acrylic paints, brushes, glue and xacto knives. Padded among my clothes is a bottle of traditional Canadian Rye Whiskey for the ball. All the metal bits and pieces of my clothing and kit are samples of my work: A small pen knife, wallet, keys, flashlight, bunker and truck trinkets and the Hank mini are in my sporran.

In my hands I hold a small maple wood box with dovetail corner joinery and sliding lid. It contains a good bottle of Niagara Red Wine and the Carnelian stone stamp that I made; which is copied from the wax seal on the Invitation envelope. I have these to present as gifts to my hostess, Ms. Chan. Assuming she actually exists and isn’t just some sort of promotional spox for the Mizzurian Company.

I’m seriously trying to ignore my coworkers watching me from the front window/door of the shop.

I half-sat/half-leaned on the hood of my truck trying to look cool. I shift my weight to my left leg and hook the heel of my right boot on the rusty bumper of my truck: Nervously passing the box from hand to the other.

Five minutes 'til the Airport Limo is scheduled to arrive. Or more likely a minibus. The invitation insists that I be punctual but I doubt they will be.

I’ll give it an extra fifteen minutes considering how traffic moves in this city.

I’m becoming even more acutely aware of the eyes of my coworkers on my back.

To save face if Ms. Chan doesn’t show up, I’ll fake receiving a cellphone call and take my pack, jump into the truck and drive away.

Not sure what the next step will be… 

Go to the airport and fly standby to L.A.?

At the appointed hour and minute I see a shimmer in the air about 5 feet in front of me. In a matter of seconds, the shimmer turns first into a rainbow, then a rainbow in a circle.

I’d like to enjoy the light show but it’s accompanied by a searing pain in my head and my eyeballs start to throb. Am I having a stroke?! Out of the aperture comes a light so bright that it stabs through my cerebral cortex and burns a hole through the back of my skull! My ears are ringing like I’ve been to a concert and was too close to the stacks.

My hands fly up and fumble to cover my eyes and ears at the same time as my knees buckle under me. A scream of pain escapes my lips,"Aaaaahhgghh!” 

In a split second the lights dim and the pain starts to recede. My reflexes save me from dropping the wooden box on the asphalt and smashing the bottle of wine inside.

A woman who looks like the one in the photograph from the Time Magazine article appears in front of me. She has stepped through a portal doorway framed with light. She touches my arm and softly says, “Forgive me, I hadn’t considered that you’d be so susceptible. I’ve installed a temporary block, which whilst alleviating your immediate symptoms, will mean you won't be able to use your trumps for a while, not that they’d particularly do you any good..” She is a woman of oriental descent, wearing knee high leather boots, jeans, a Black Tee-shirt with the Disjunction motif in gold, and a well worn leather jacket. Kripes! She has a Katana in a scabbard hanging on her left side.

I straighten up, with her assistance and she continues, “You’ll need to learn how to shield against latent and local sources, but that’s for another day, if you’re feeling better and are ready then we can go.”

“Whoo-ee!” I shout with excitement as the rest of the pain fades.

I step forward proffering the gift to the woman who now stands in front of me. Thinking all the while, Ms. Chan, I am so happy you are here, and not just a figment of my imagination. Although, my brain may be fried and this is all a hallucination. Her expression and aura are unreadable to me as she accepts the gift.

In the near distance I hear the sounds of a commotion, car horns, people shouting, crying..

"I suggest you reassure your work colleagues that you're okay.. and then we should probably leave before the authorities arrive to deal with the consequences of you picking such a public place for your collection.."

Her words sting. How was I to know we’d be travelling by Portal? I look back at the shop and see a couple of the guys coming out the door and there’s a small fender bender on the street.

I turn to wave at my co-workers with a big grin on my face. Throwing the big backpack on my left shoulder I give them a thumbs up and turn back to Ms. Chan. "To be fair... I was expecting an airport shuttle, not a spaceship! Let's blow this popsicle stand! Beam me up! Alien adventure awaits!"

As strange as all this is: Ever since I ‘fell off the roof of the barn’ I’ve been waiting and hoping for something like this to happen. I never dared to search for another person who could make portals for fear that it would bring attention to myself from the wrong quarter. The last thing I wanted: The thing that I feared the most was that some agency, government or otherwise, would find me and dissect me. I only hoped that some other portal maker would somehow find me. I can only hope that this is the case.

Ms. Chan tucks my gift under her left arm and takes what appears to be a pack of cards from the top pocket of her jacket. She shuffles off the top card, before putting the rest back with a look of concentration on her face.

This time, without the blinding lights and pain, the air to her immediate left begins to shimmer as a portal opens. Through the portal I can see an ornate staircase about 10ft wide which ascends into the distance. She says "after you", and gestures for me to precede her.

Under my breath I quip, "Leeroy Jenkins..." as I step through the portal with Ms. Chan on my heels.

I step into an ornately decorated foyer facing the staircase which ascends about a dozen feet then splits into 2, each branch ascending further. Behind the staircase looks to be an elevator shaft framed in glass.

"Some introductions are in order before we can get to a quick tour and your room assignment" Ms. Chan says as I’m gawking around the place.

Pulled from my reverie I turn around and see a group of people who all appear to be of Asian descent. They are all dressed in well made suits and uniforms and are all wearing earpieces.

Ms. Chan begins, "Let me first introduce my Steward, Sun Hui-Jin"

Sun is a late middle aged guy who looks like he's been through a lot and shouldn't be messed with. He’s wearing a tailored black three piece suit. The fabric of his waistcoat under his jacket has an interesting pattern which catches my eye: The pattern consists of a set of three rings set at ninety degrees to each other arranged in three dimensions. They are inclined at thirty degrees from the X and Z axis. Each ring has a profile like a piece of high speed rail and they're coloured like highly polished brass lite from above left. It recalls to me the dynamic form of Biblical Angels as described in Ezekiel. I’ll call the pattern ‘Ezekiel’s Wheels’ without the spokes, wings or eyeballs. Speaking of eyeballs, another thing that is eye catching is the large peach and silver rose lapel pin with matching peach and silver rose cufflinks. He says "Welcome" with an American-Korean accent as he bows. 

Ms. Chan continues, "and my Personal Assistance Lee Choi” as she introduces a petite young woman who’s possibly in her late 20s or early 30s. She’s dressed in a smart looking Navy Blue business suit, with a peach blouse. She has a peach and silver rose lapel pin as well. Lee Choi bows and says "Welcome".. also with an American-Korean accent.

The remainder are all dressed uniformly in peach (as in reflecting the colouration of a peach fruit) silk shirts/blouses. Black silk short sleeve (elbow length) jackets with peach and silver stripes running down the arms. Black silk trousers, again with peach and silver stripes running down the outside leg seam. Black slippers with peach and silver curved “V” from toe to around sides meeting at heel. 

Ms. Chan continues, "for the duration of your stay, at least for the Expo and Balls, you may choose a Personal Assistant. From right to left are Taurean, Jade, Caitlin, Jasmin, Kassidy. Who would you like?" As each of the Assistants are introduced they will also bow.

Oooff... I’m really uncomfortable with the idea of having a servant. I give a slight bow to each of them as they are introduced to me and I make eye contact with each of them. I’m trying to figure out with whom I might form a friendly, less formal relationship with. Or more likely someone that I can mostly ignore. I try to break the ice with a lame joke and very quietly say, "Two Balls? I thought there was only one, but I guess that'd be a little lopsided." I look to see if anyone heard and if they smile or laugh.

It’s a tough crowd. All of the girls smile politely and the two guys remain stone faced. I’m tempted to choose Caitlin, just for the sake of generating some confusion but I feel like it would be a little creepy to choose a maid. If I must choose an assistant, I figure that I should select a guy.

I nod at Kassidy, a guy about my age or a little older. He’s a big handsome guy with shortish black hair. I extended a handshake. "Pleased to meet you, Kassidy."

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Ms. Chan gets my attention. "So if you follow me, we can do the expedited tour. You can leave your bags here." indicating the foyer. "On the ground floor on your right" she gestures, "is the Ball Room, and on your left is the State Room. Behind the stairs are the main elevators, and through the doors beyond are the service elevators, kitchens, and on the upper floors the servants quarters" I follow as she begins to ascend the staircase.

She continues, "For the purposes of your visit, the ladies are assigned guest rooms on the second (third) floor, whilst the gentlemen have guest rooms on the first (second) floor. Guest rooms are on the right hand side" again she gestures and takes the right hand staircase for the rest of the ascent.

Ground floor, first floor, second floor; she has an American accent but talks like a Brit when it comes to addressing the levels of the facility. To me, the first and ground floor are the same thing. At this rate I’m surprised that she didn’t call the elevators the ‘lifts’.

"On the left hand side on the first (second) floor are the library, guest dining room, guest lounge, and games room. Everything above that is my personal space and not accessible."

On the 3rd (4th?) floor she continues, "suites on this floor are occupied by family members" and on reaching the 4th (5th?) floor "This floor is mostly machinery space for the swimming pools, although Hui-Jin's and Choi's offices can be found at the back of the house, through the doors here." again she gestures to the access doors on both sides of the staircase landings on all floors, except for the roof level.

As you ascend the final staircase you come out into a glass sided and roofed room. A set of double doors lead onto a glass roof, which is obviously over the entrance hall. She will lead you out onto the roof.

Holy crap-stacks this really is an alien adventure! I’m stunned as I look up at the sky. It’s the middle of the night and the sky is clear with shining stars and a pair of moons. This obviously isn’t Los Angeles, California where it should be sunny at this time of day. To my left and right are 8' glass walls, and what appear to be roof gardens. In the left hand wall, as you face the front of the house are a set of double doors.

Ms. Chan drones on like this isn’t the first time she’s given the tour, "The pool and hot tub on your left are free for anybody to use at any time of the day or night, in whatever attire you chose.. Again I must apologise but I have to be going to collect my next guest. Kassidy, your assistant, will show you to your room, and I will see you at three-ayem in the Library."

Three in the morning!? I’d have guessed we were in Asia except that I didn’t recognize any of the constellations. Not to mention two moons!

My mind is a little numb with information overload as we head back downstairs. Kassidy had quietly followed along on the tour and now took the lead by nudging me away from the staircase on the second level of the facility, “This way, please.” as Ms. Chan continued down to the Foyer.

Kassidy leads me down a wide corridor to the third door on the left. Emblazoned on the doors are the names of gemstones. My door says ‘Onyx’. Darn! My birthstone is Garnet. 

Through the door is a spacious five star suite. Like the rest of the building it is all polished glass and steel with excellent Japanese style timber framing and joinery along with lacquered furnishings. I see that my big backpack has been placed on the floor leaning against the foot of the bed.

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Kassidy has now become a tour guide as he shows me around the suite and explains all the automated features. A lot of them seem silly to me, like motorized curtains and blinds: As if I can’t operate those sorts of things manually myself. He’s very insistent that I initialize and set up an account with the house’s computerized Artificial Intelligence. He calls it ‘Zou Yan’ and it requires wearing a helmet and gloves to do so.

I’m used to the idea of having a feminine computer AI voice like Majel Barrett’s computer voice on Star Trek. Zou Yan’s masculine voice is strangely sinister: Like HAL in 2001 a Space Odyssey or Mu Lambda 165 from Star Lost.

Before Kassidy leaves I ask him for the correct local time so I can reset my watch. He informs me that it’s now 22:48.

I dismiss Kassidy and I look over the hardware briefly before setting it aside. ‘I think I'd like to get a little more settled in before getting my brain probed and possibly laundered…’ I say to my empty room.

I look at my cellphone and it registers ‘network unavailable’. I tap the WiFi and it shows ‘MZMansion’, so I’ll have to ask someone for the login.

What I need right now is some lunch...

I head out of my room in search of food. I head down the main stairs into the foyer where I’m intercepted by Sun Hui-Jin, “How may I help you.”

"Yes please," holding up my cellphone, "the WiFi password and point me in the direction of the kitchen. Thanks."

Sun tells me, "To use the house network you must have configured your game console.” Pointing, “The kitchens are through there. One of us will be with you as soon as we're finished with Mr Talon's induction."

Following his direction, I wander into the kitchen. There's a half dozen staff who all appear to be Asian. They look up from the table they're lounging at. One of them says something in what I assume is Chinese. I shrug my shoulders and they say something else equally confounding to me. "Hui-Jin" is the only thing they say that is remotely familiar.

"Hello, sorry... English only. Petit Francais..” I try, “Sandwich s'il vôus plait et l'eau?" As I gesture like I am biting a sandwich and sipping a drink. Then I bow supplicatingly.” Maybe, "Je fais. I can make my own..." I shake my head and softly say, "...not in Kansas anymore..."

None of them parle and only speak Chinese; repeating “Hui-Jin.”

I shake my head. Sun Hui-Jin hasn’t caught up to me in the kitchen yet. Feeling impatient, I give up and I head up to the roof for some fresh air.

Frustrated, hungry and with a load of nervous energy, I decided to take a swim. The one thing I didn’t pack is a bathing suit, but recalling that Ms. Chan said ‘in whatever attire you chose.’ I figure that means clothing is optional. I strip down, placing my clothes on a lounge chair, and dive smoothly into the pool, au natural.

Odd: Swimming in water while feeling like a fish out of water. I really don’t want to have my brain scanned by some alien computer, but I may not have any option.

Over the next hour or so, a half dozen different people about my age come up to the roof with Ms. Chan leading them on what I assume is the same tour that I had received.

Lapping the pool and otherwise floating around, I pass the time until the three ayem meeting in the Library. At just after two I climb out of the water and let myself dry in the warm night air. I’m dazzled by the bright constellations in the sky and the pair of moons. What planet is this? It’s not any one in my solar system: That I know of, anyway. I get mostly dressed and wander back down the stairs bare foot. Taking my time, I get to the Library by quarter to three.