Let me tell you about Icebergs.

Have you ever watched an ice cube melt in a glass of warm water? Nine tenths of that tiny iceberg is underwater. As it melts from beneath it becomes top heavy and will suddenly tilt or turn over. That's sort of how things were explained to us when we returned to school.

Global warming: The whole planet is the melting ice cube that turned over … Or something like that.

The scientists explained that the planetary weight shifted because of the melting of the polar ice caps. The Earth tilted on its axis in two directions at once. The rotational axis shifted so that the North Pole was now in the middle of the Bering Strait and the Magnetic North Pole shifted to Switzerland. Geography isn’t really a strong subject for me, so I’m not sure where the South Poles shifted to. All I know is that our winters are much milder now.

That massive shift caused earthquakes, tsunamis and massive volcano eruptions. Parts of the continents sunk into the seas and new land masses formed.

The ice caps have mostly re-formed now on the new rotational axis and guidance systems have all been recalibrated to the new magnetic poles. During the crisis, the magnetic poles flipped multiple times and wreaked so much havoc on telecommunications, navigation and even caused a lot of the satellites to fall out of the sky.

The religious nuts called it the Rapture but that never made sense to me. If all of the innocents were supposed to be called up to heaven and all of the sinners were left below, then those religious kooks should have been gone along with us innocent children. But that’s not how it worked out. Untold millions died, but it wasn’t according to sinners and saints.

There are all sorts of crazy stories about monsters and aliens attacking but the official story is that it’s mass hysteria caused by such colossal natural disasters which left thousands, if not millions of survivors with PTSD. They couldn’t possibly pack all the evidence left behind by aliens into area 51. There simply isn’t any evidence except for the accounts of those shell shocked survivors.

My Mom, who works at the Royal Ontario Museum, says that there’s just not any archeological evidence of aliens, or whatever may have attacked all those people.

Mother Nature really made her point and things changed for the better. With the infrastructure smashed, humans got a do-over and switched to green energy.